Commit translated books batch0 and in-progress works
batch0-21/55/70/75/76/77/78/79/91: nine reviewed books — each with source.dj, target.dj, edit-suggestions.dj, review-findings.dj and source docx. All nine pass the 11-check translation gate; reviews applied in the direct-edit pass on 2026-08-07 (bilingual.dj regenerated, not committed). 我们靠什么认识世界: incorporate human review into source/target; drop stale review files. 第22课 传递善意，点亮心灯, 静心学堂学员手册: new in-progress projects.
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# Review Findings for 70【佛法要领】
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Reviewer: model (self)
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Date: 2026-08-07
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Scope: full read of source.dj and target.dj; spot-verified all long paragraph tails for
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omissions. Reference: edit-suggestions.dj (2026-08-06, prior pass; findings below are
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net-new).
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## Summary
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Completeness is excellent: every source paragraph, verse, and anecdote is present and
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in order (verified 1:1 line alignment and tails of all long paragraphs). Register and
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fluency are consistently good. No meaning-reversing mistranslations and no omissions
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were found. The findings below are one wrong Sanskrit gloss, one logical slip, one
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repeated grammar error in the root verse, and a set of small terminology / fluency
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polish items.
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## Critical
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None.
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## Major
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### M1. Wrong Sanskrit gloss for 三有 (three existences)
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Location: §2.4, target line 257 — "Why are the three realms called the three
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existences (*triloka*)?"
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三有 = trīṇi bhavāni / *tribhava* (the three states of existence); *triloka* = 三界
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(the three realms). The gloss contradicts the next sentence, which correctly glosses
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有 as *bhava*. The error is translator-added (the source gives no Sanskrit), so it
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injects a factual mistake into the commentary.
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Fix: change "the three existences (*triloka*)" to "the three existences
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(*tribhava*)", or drop the parenthetical and keep only the (*bhava*) gloss in the
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following sentence.
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### M2. Tautological sentence loses the 相对/究竟/胜义 distinction
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Location: §4 intro, target line 423 — "Bodhicitta is of two types: one is relative,
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the other ultimate. ... Ultimate bodhicitta, on the other hand, can only be revealed
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after realizing emptiness, and is also known as ultimate bodhicitta."
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Source: 菩提心有两种，一种是相对的，一种是究竟的。…是相对的菩提心。而究竟的菩提心…又称胜义菩提心。
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The final clause names a *different* term (胜义菩提心) as a synonym; the translation
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repeats "ultimate bodhicitta", producing a tautology and losing the
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世俗/胜义 (conventional/ultimate) pair — a distinction the text itself relies on in
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§5.1, where 世俗菩提心 is rendered "conventional bodhicitta".
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Fix: "Bodhicitta is of two types: relative and ultimate. Arousing the wish 'I want to
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become a buddha, I want to benefit all living beings' is relative bodhicitta.
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Ultimate bodhicitta, which can only be revealed after realizing emptiness, is also
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known as absolute bodhicitta (*pāramārthika-bodhicitta*)." Optionally align §5.1's
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"conventional bodhicitta" with a parenthetical: "relative (conventional)
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bodhicitta".
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### M3. Broken possessive in the root verse, repeated four times
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Location: target lines 157, 303, 313, 327 — "Because craving for existence'
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pleasures binds all beings..."
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"existence' pleasures" is not a valid English possessive. It appears in the root
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verse block in the Prologue, at the opening of §3, at the opening of §3.1, and in the
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§3.1 commentary quote — i.e. in the most-read lines of the book.
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Fix (all four occurrences): "Because craving for the pleasures of existence binds all
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beings, first you must seek renunciation." (Source: 由欲有乐缚众生，故先寻求出离心。)
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## Minor
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### Accuracy / terminology
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1. **"life's brevity" for 寿无常** — target lines 159, 305, 351 and commentary line
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357. 寿无常 is the *impermanence* of life (lifespan), not merely its brevity; the
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following commentary on death's certainty/uncertainty depends on the
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impermanence sense. Fix: "life's impermanence" (verse: "This precious human life
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so hard to find, and life's impermanence---...").
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2. **"a child of the Mahayana" for 大乘佛子** — target line 431. 佛子 = child of the
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Buddha; the translation drops 佛. Fix: "Only when you have aroused bodhicitta are
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you a Mahayana child of the Buddha; otherwise, you belong to the Hinayana."
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3. **"an awakened being" for 觉有情** — target line 429. The folk etymology the
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author invokes is "awakened *sentient* being" (bodhi + sattva). Fix: "A
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bodhisattva is also called an awakened sentient being."
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4. **"Prajñāpāramitā Madhyamaka view of emptiness" for 般若中观的空性见** — target
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line 649 (end of §5.2). 般若 here is prajñā (the three prajñās were just
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discussed); inflating it to Prajñāpāramitā over-specifies. Fix: "the
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prajñā–Madhyamaka view of emptiness".
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5. **"Our great teacher, the Buddha" for 我佛大沙门** — target line 559 (§5.1).
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Drops 大沙门 (great śramaṇa). Fix: "Our Buddha, the great Śramaṇa, always taught
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in this way."
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6. **"Buddhism calls our living body the five aggregates"** — target line 277
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(§2.4). 生命体 is the whole psycho-physical being; "living body" obscures that
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four of the five aggregates are mental (which the next sentences explain). Fix:
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"Buddhism calls our mind-body continuum the five aggregates." Also "the present
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living body" later in the same paragraph → "the present mind-body".
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7. **"the three higher realms" for 三善道** — target line 129 (§1.3). Standard
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rendering is "the three fortunate realms" (or "happy realms"). "Higher" is
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intelligible but nonstandard. Fix: "the results of the three fortunate realms".
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8. **"self-liberated solitary" for 自了汉** — target line 439 (§4). Coinage is
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unclear; 自了汉 = one concerned only with their own liberation. Fix: "such a
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person becomes one who seeks only their own liberation".
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9. **"Lamp for the Path to Enlightenment" for 《菩提道灯论》** — target line 213
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(§2.2). The standard English title of Atiśa's *Bodhipathapradīpa* is *A Lamp for
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the Path to Awakening*. Using "Awakening" also avoids overloading "Enlightenment"
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(already used in the *Stages of the Path* titles). Fix: "his *Lamp for the Path
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to Awakening*".
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10. **Sutra-title diacritics inconsistent** — "*Platform Sutra of the Sixth
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Patriarch*" (lines 87, 91) and "(Lotus Sutra)" (line 99) lack the diacritic used
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everywhere else (*Diamond Sūtra*, *Heart Sūtra*, *Lotus Sūtra* at lines 439, 451,
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453, *Nirvāṇa Sūtra*). Fix: *Platform Sūtra of the Sixth Patriarch* and "(Lotus
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Sūtra)".
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### Fluency / register
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11. **"arise from causes and their results without exception"** — verse rendering of
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从因生果皆不虚 (target lines 171, 529, 535 area). Reads as if things "arise from
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causes and results"; 不虚 = unfailing. Fix: "arise from causes as results,
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unfailingly" (cf. the commentary's own cleaner phrasing "all arise from causes
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and produce results. This is genuinely true.").
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12. **"the low-level repetition of life"** — target line 331 (§3.1), for
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生命的低级重复. "Low-level" suggests technical/low-priority in English. Fix: "a
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base, mechanical repetition of life" or "life's dreary repetition".
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13. **"a capacity for non-adhesion"** — target line 385 (§3.3), for 不粘著的能力.
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"Non-adhesion" is a physical-materials term. Fix: "a capacity for
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non-attachment" (keeps parallel with the surrounding "does not stick" imagery,
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which works well).
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14. **"The trouble is precisely that we cannot die."** — target line 567 (§5.1).
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Intended: death offers no escape from karma (麻烦就在于死不了). As written it
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reads as a complaint about immortality. Fix: "The trouble is precisely that we
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cannot simply die and be done with it."
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15. **"The theme lecture for this Bodhi Meditation Retreat has chosen..."** —
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target line 51 (opening paragraph). A lecture cannot "choose"; the speaker
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chooses. Fix: "For the keynote lecture of this Bodhi Meditation Retreat, I have
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chosen Master Tsongkhapa's *Song of the Three Principal Aspects of the Path*."
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16. **"day and night the wish for liberation never leaves your mind"** — verse
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(lines 161, 307, 369), for 昼夜唯求解脱心. Slight drift: the verse is about
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*seeking only* liberation day and night, not about the wish merely persisting.
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Fix: "and day and night you long for liberation alone".
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## Notes (no action needed)
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- Terminology is otherwise consistent throughout: 出离心 = renunciation, 菩提心 =
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bodhicitta, 空性见 = the view of emptiness, 我执/法执 = self-grasping /
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dharma-grasping, 缘起 = dependent origination, 止观 = śamatha-vipaśyanā, 暇满人身 =
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precious human life (with "leisure and endowment" given at first explanation),
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三苦 = suffering of suffering / of change / pervasive suffering of conditioning
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(standard rendering).
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- 小乘 = Hinayana is used consistently and matches the unapologetic 小乘 of the
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source; retained as-is.
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- Section renumbering (### 解脱道和菩萨道 → ### 1.2., etc.) and ToC conversion to a
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flat bullet list are clean and consistent.
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- edit-suggestions.dj (2026-08-06) remains accurate: "Jiechuang Buddhist Studies
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Institute" (line 673) is in place; none of its open items conflict with the
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findings above.
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