- Active voice and 'we' subjects (R1)
- Noun-to-verb conversion and abstract-to-concrete rewrites (R2/R8)
- Simplified vocabulary and removed filler words (R3/R5)
- Split long sentences and improved conversational tone (R4/R6)
- Removed unnecessary -ly adverbs and stiff constructions (R7)
- Specific word fixes: tumor hospitals -> cancer hospitals, stop the loss -> keep pain from getting worse, etc.
- Restored A:/_A:_ formatting so only first answer paragraph carries the marker.
Recurring patterns smoothed across the text include:
- "keen on" -> "eagerly pursuing" / "eager to"
- "great wise teachers" -> "great teachers"
- "wisdom culture" -> "culture of wisdom"
- "more ultimate" -> "more complete" / "more profound"
- "delusive thoughts still fly about" -> "delusions run wild"
- "outdo animals by far" -> "animals are left far behind"
- "arouse resonance" -> "strike a chord"
- "serve as reference" -> "provide guidance"
- "straddling two boats" -> "trying to walk two paths"
- "choice difficulty" -> "decision paralysis"
- "religious community" -> "Buddhist community"
- "tree wishing stillness while the wind keeps blowing" -> "the tree may crave stillness, but the wind will not cease"
- "optimization of life" -> "flourishing of life"
- "right-livelihood occupation" -> "right livelihood"
- "more valuably" -> "more wisely"
See review-comments.dj for the full list of findings and justifications.
iacore