iacore
7b92da7335
batch0-21/55/70/75/76/77/78/79/91: nine reviewed books — each with source.dj, target.dj, edit-suggestions.dj, review-findings.dj and source docx. All nine pass the 11-check translation gate; reviews applied in the direct-edit pass on 2026-08-07 (bilingual.dj regenerated, not committed). 我们靠什么认识世界: incorporate human review into source/target; drop stale review files. 第22课 传递善意，点亮心灯, 静心学堂学员手册: new in-progress projects.
72 lines
3.0 KiB
Plaintext
72 lines
3.0 KiB
Plaintext
# Edit Suggestions for 21【《心经》的人生智慧】
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Translator: AI (self-review)
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Date: 2026-08-06
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## Summary
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Translation is complete and line counts match (830 source, 830 target). The
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translation follows MPI terminology conventions and preserves the speaker's
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voice—reasoned, measured, with direct address and concrete Dharma imagery.
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No missing content or serious accuracy issues found.
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## Terminology Notes
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### Confirmed against terms DB
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All key terms verified against `toolkit/terms-database/search.py`:
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- 般若 → prajna
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- 般若波罗蜜多 → Prajna Paramita
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- 般若波罗蜜多心经 → Prajnaparamita Heart Sutra
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- 五蕴 → five aggregates (matches 心经的人生智慧 source-specific entry; "five skandhas" is also attested)
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- 空性 → emptiness
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- 十二因缘 → Twelve Nidanas (matches 心经的人生智慧 entry)
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- 四谛 → Four Noble Truths
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- 观自在菩萨 → Avalokiteshvara Bodhisattva
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- 阿耨多罗三藐三菩提 → anuttara-samyak-sambodhi
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- 阿赖耶识 → alaya consciousness (matches 心经的人生智慧 entry)
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- 缘起性空 → the empty nature of conditioned arising (matches DoT定稿)
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### Consistent internal usage
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- "aggregates" (not "skandhas") used throughout for 蕴
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- "conditioned arising" used throughout for 缘起
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- "intrinsic nature" used for 自性
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- "deluded thoughts" used for 妄想
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- "ordinary beings" used for 凡夫 (not "common people" or "unenlightened beings")
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- "sentient beings" used for 众生 and 有情
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### Terms warranting attention
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1. **《大智度论》→ Mahaprajnaparamita Upadesha**: This is the scholarly
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Sanskrit title reconstruction. Alternative English titles include "Great
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Treatise on the Perfection of Wisdom." The first occurrence appends the
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parenthetical gloss for accessibility.
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2. **波罗蜜/波罗蜜多 → Paramita**: Left untranslated as Sanskrit. "Perfection"
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is the standard English rendering and is used in explanatory contexts
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("six perfections"). The Sanskrit is used when quoting sutras or in the
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title.
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3. **Australia Mingyue Buddhist Society**: The venue name follows the Chinese
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original "澳洲明月居士林". Could alternatively be rendered "Mingyue Buddhist
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Society in Australia" but the current form matches the source's cadence.
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## Readability Observations (no changes needed)
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- Long doctrinal paragraphs have been split at natural breath points.
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- Passive voice is rare; "we" and active constructions predominate.
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- Teacher voice preserved: first-person asides ("I believe," "I recall"),
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rhetorical questions, gentle admonition.
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- Poems rendered with attention to rhythm and imagery, not forced rhyme.
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- Sutra quotes use standard English Buddhist idiom.
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## Format Checks
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- Djot emphasis: `*text*` (single asterisk) used throughout. No `**` Markdown bold.
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- Em dashes: `---` used correctly.
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- Backslash-escaped quotes in TOC entries preserved.
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- Section anchors `{#...}` match source.
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- All source lines have corresponding target lines. No missing or extra content.
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