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2026-08-11 11:23:43 +08:00
parent 6144d63b68
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6 changed files with 261 additions and 6 deletions
@@ -30,12 +30,17 @@ Switch to self-mode output in that case, but keep a collegial tone.
 1. Read `source.dj` and `target.dj` fully before changing anything.  
   (Other mode only: read the translator's note if present, and address them by name.)
-2. Run a three-pass review using the detection rules below.
+2. If the text is **meditation-practice content** — a guided meditation script,
-3. Apply the R1–R14 editorial polish checklist.
+   posture/breathing exercise guide, or meditation-method explanation — load
-4. Check terminology against the terms DB (see `mpi-terms-search` skill).
+   `references/meditation-practice-translation.md` and run its summary checklist
-5. Verify that every source paragraph maps to a target paragraph with no missing
+   as an extra pass. It distills the recurring issues a human reviewer flagged
   across a whole meditation manuscript.
 3. Run a three-pass review using the detection rules below.
 4. Apply the R1–R14 editorial polish checklist.
 5. Check terminology against the terms DB (see `mpi-terms-search` skill).
 6. Verify that every source paragraph maps to a target paragraph with no missing
   or truncated content.
-6. Produce the correct artifact for your mode.
+7. Produce the correct artifact for your mode.
 ## Detection rules — three passes
@@ -207,6 +212,10 @@ Any DB queries or proposed term changes.
  for this project's genres.
 - `references/buddhist-terminology.md` — register and convention notes for
  Buddhist/Dharma terms.
 - `references/meditation-practice-translation.md` — recurring review patterns
  for meditation-practice texts (person/subject consistency, sentence
  splitting, filler deletion, fixed series terms, Chan-verse quotes), distilled
  from a human-reviewed manuscript.
 - `../mpi-translation/SKILL.md` — the upstream translation skill that produces the
  `target.dj` this skill reviews.
 - `../mpi-terms-search/SKILL.md` — skill for querying the terms database before and
@@ -35,6 +35,29 @@ Terms encountered in Chinese-English translation of Dharma study materials. Thes
 | 愿心 | mind of vows, bodhicitta aspiration | Plural "vows" in English |
 | 重要感、优越感、主宰欲 | sense of importance, superiority, desire to control | Three ego-driven motivations |
 ## Meditation-practice terms (from 初级正念禅修 review)
 Terms from the *初级正念禅修* review (2026-08-10). These appear in
 meditation-method / breathing / posture texts. See
 `references/meditation-practice-translation.md` for the full review patterns.
 | Chinese | English | Notes |
 |---------|---------|-------|
 | 初级正念（禅修） | Primary Mindfulness (Meditation) | NOT "elementary". 初级 → "primary" in this series. |
 | 毗卢七支坐 | seven-point posture of Vairocana | terms DB: "Seven-Point Postures of Vairochana". Use consistently. |
 | 八式动禅 | Eight Mindful Exercises for Lotus Posture | Fixed series term. |
 | 七式呼吸 | Seven Mindful Exercises for Breathing | Fixed series term. |
 | 观呼吸 | Mindful Breathing | As a practice name; not "Mindfulness of Breathing". |
 | 打坐 / 坐禅 | sitting meditation | terms DB `坐禅`. Use uniformly ("seated meditation" OK). |
 | 细（呼吸） | subtle | For 细 breath quality; "fine" reads unnatural to general readers. |
 | 止 | settling the mind on an object | Terse source needs expansion; never bare "stopping". |
 | 证悟 | enlightenment | terms DB. Not "Way". |
 | 本心 / 真心 | true mind | Use consistently within a document (also for 心性 where intended). |
 | 辅助（禅修） | supportive (mindfulness practice) | "supportive" preferred over "auxiliary" (warmer, conversational). |
 | 觉知 | awareness | terms DB. |
 | 观照 | attend to the mind / mindful observation | Contemplative, not passive "observe". |
 | 缘起 | dependent origination | Prefer "follow the principle of dependent origination" collocation. |
 ## Structural patterns
 - Section numbering: Chinese uses 一、二、三... English should pick one style (Part One/Two, First/Second, I/II) and stick with it.
@@ -0,0 +1,174 @@
 # Meditation-Practice Text Translation — Patterns from Human Review
 Human review of *初级正念禅修：从基础练习到觉知开启* (translated 代艺初翻,
 reviewed 慈德审, 2026-08-10) produced 85 reviewer comments. They cluster into a
 small set of recurring patterns. These are the issues a Chinese → English
 translator/reviewer of meditation-practice texts most often gets wrong. Treat
 this as a checklist for any guided-meditation script, posture/breathing
 exercise guide, or meditation-method explanation.
 ## 1. Person and subject (the single most-repeated issue)
 Chinese meditation prose drops subjects; English must not. The reviewer's #1
 fix was to **supply and keep a consistent person as subject** — almost always
 inclusive **"we"**, with **"you"** for direct step-by-step guidance. Two
 failures dominate:
 - **Missing subject / missing verb.** A bare clause that reads as an imperative
  fragment where the source intended a statement.
  - Source: `……入静` → target `, adjusting ...` → fix: give it a subject and a
    full verb.
 - **Drift into abstract third person / generic "people"/"one".** Meditation
  practice is reader-facing. Render the practitioner as "we" (shared
  experience) or "you" (guidance), never as "people," "one," or a dangling
  noun phrase.
 **Rule:** For every sentence, name the subject. Check the previous sentence's
 subject and keep the reference chain consistent (don't hop between "the
 practitioner," "we," "you," and an inanimate object). The reviewer repeatedly
 asked to change the subject *back* to a consistent person for reader
 engagement (参与感).
 Examples from the review:
 | Problem | Reviewed fix |
 |---|---|
 | `use` (no subject) | "In the Seven Mindful Exercises for Breathing, **we use** postures and various body movements to expand the space of breathing…" |
 | "process" as subject | "**In this process, we need to keep alert**: when we realize that the mind has wandered off or grown drowsy, we bring it back." |
 | missing subject at paragraph start | supply "we": "Through repeated practice, **we** gradually master it and make it a habit." |
 | "when there is no awareness…" | "**When we** are not aware…" |
 When the source uses an abstract/system noun (mind, meditation, the method),
 match it only if the English sentence genuinely reads well that way; if it
 reads stiff, re-cast around a person. Chinese topic-comment structure must not
 be reproduced as a subjectless English sentence.
 ## 2. Split long sentences (one idea per breath)
 Chinese runs clauses together; the reviewer repeatedly split one long sentence
 into two or three, often introducing "we" as the subject of each.
 | Before (literal) | After (reviewed) |
 |---|---|
 | "We need the view of the sudden teaching so that we can be filled with confidence in practice—knowing that within the life of every person lies a quality no different from that of all the Buddhas of the three periods of time and the successive patriarchs" | "We need the view of the sudden teaching because it gives us confidence in our practice. It helps us understand that within each of us lies a quality no different from that of all the Buddhas across the past, present, and future, as well as the successive patriarchs." |
 | "These exercises rely not only on movement practice but also on coordinating with the breath—during each movement training, bringing the breath to every part of the body…" | "In these exercises, we not only rely on physical movement but also regulate the breath. During each movement, we bring the breath to every part of the body…" |
 | "As long as we perform each movement with concentration and awareness, then whether we are dressing, eating, relating with others, walking…" | "As long as we engage in each action with concentration and awareness, even daily activities can become the actual practice of meditation—whether we are getting dressed, eating, walking, standing, sitting, lying down, interacting with others, or handling daily affairs." |
 ## 3. Delete redundant filler (the second most-repeated fix)
 The reviewer deleted words that add nothing: `particular` (with `emphasis`),
 `corresponding`, `especially`, `basically`, `essentially`, `like someone`,
 `in fantasy`, `the`, `a process of`, `arising and passing`, `, the crucial
 doorway to awakened nature`, `to heed during sitting meditation`.
 **Rule:** When a sentence parses with and without a word, drop it. Common
 Chinese-draft padding: "especially," "basically," "essentially,"
 "particularly," "corresponding," "a process of." These are almost always
 compressible or deletable.
 ## 4. Over-literal / word-for-word (字对字) renderings
 The reviewer flagged machine-literal translations that needed to become
 natural, person-led English:
 | Over-literal | Reviewed fix |
 |---|---|
 | "life-form" (for 色身/生命载体) | "Our present body, made up of the five aggregates, is…" |
 | "even dull faculties, provided the method is right…" | "Even those of dull faculties, if they practice with the right method and diligently wipe away the dust of the mind, can realize the true mind." |
 | "when able, do abdominal breathing" (字对字 of 能则) | "When we are able to practice abdominal breathing, we simply do it." |
 | "we climb on again" (for a car returning to a highway) | "we get back on" — the AI misread the metaphor; a car does not "climb." |
 | "we are accustomed to 'not knowing'" | "we are used to being unaware" |
 **Rule:** If the English only makes sense by re-translating it into the
 Chinese, it is over-literal. Read for meaning, not word order.
 ## 5. Avoid exaggerated or unusual English
 Chinese meditation prose is plain; keep the English plain. The reviewer
 specifically softened:
 - "an unending supply of vitality and energy" → "the vitality and energy
  needed" / "a steady supply" (unending sounds exaggerated).
 - "like a turbid pool slowly becoming clear" → "like a pool of muddy water
  slowly becoming clear" (turbid is literary; muddy is plain).
 - "fine" (for 细 breath) → "subtle" — meditative, natural for general readers.
 - "deconstruct" → "see through" (plainer).
 - "obscured" → "veiled" (fewer, simpler words).
 - "transcend" → "go beyond" (especially when another "transcend" appears nearby
  — avoid repetition).
 - "accord with" → "align with" (more conversational for a general audience).
 **Rule:** Prefer short, warm, everyday words over literary or Latinate ones
 for a lay readership. If a word would need a dictionary look-up or a footnote
 for a general reader, replace it.
 ## 6. Consistency of terms within the document
 - Same concept, one rendering: 本心/真心 → **true mind** throughout (not
  alternating "true mind" / "nature" / "original mind"). The reviewer picked
  "true mind" as the clearest and asked for it to be used consistently.
 - 初级 → **primary** (not "elementary"). 初级正念禅修 = **Primary Mindfulness
  Meditation**. Pick one form for "elementary/primary/basic" and keep it.
 - 打坐/坐禅 → **sitting meditation** (uniform; matches terms DB `坐禅` →
  "sitting meditation").
 - Section-title style: 观呼吸 → **Mindful Breathing** (not "Mindfulness of
  Breathing") when used as a practice name.
 **Rule:** Build a one-term-per-concept map for the file and enforce it. Any
 term changed mid-review must be updated everywhere (search the whole file).
 ## 7. Fixed series / internal terms (check the series, not just the DB)
 This book belongs to a meditation series with established names. Do not invent
 new renderings when a fixed name exists:
 - 毗卢七支坐 → **seven-point posture of Vairocana** (terms DB: "Seven-Point
  Postures of Vairochana").
 - 八式动禅 → **Eight Mindful Exercises for Lotus Posture**.
 - 七式呼吸 → **Seven Mindful Exercises for Breathing**.
 - 辅助 (as in auxiliary mindfulness practice) → **supportive** (reviewer
  preferred "supportive" over "auxiliary": warmer, more conversational).
 **Rule:** For a multi-part practice system or series, check whether the names
 are already established in the series / terms DB before coining new English.
 ## 8. Terse Dharma statements need expansion, not word-for-word
 A terse Chinese phrase ("止就是安住", "只是转换一下") is often too compressed
 to render literally. Expand it into a complete, teachable English sentence:
 | Terse | Reviewed expansion |
 |---|---|
 | "stopping" means settling | "We need to rest the mind on the object of focus; *samatha* means settling the mind on an object." |
 | "originally not a single thing" / "at all times diligently wipe it clean" (止观 contrast) | "Sudden teachings point out that the true mind is originally free from all attachment, while gradual teachings emphasize that we, as ordinary beings, need to diligently wipe away the inner dust." |
 | "…anxious about…" → impermanence point | "Impermanence: It helps us understand that thoughts arise and cease. With awareness, we can observe them coming and going without seeing them as permanent." |
 ## 9. Chan verse / scripture quotes — reuse established renderings
 When the text quotes a famous Chan verse, do NOT translate it fresh. Use the
 established English rendering from the lineage, and if the project already
 published this verse (an earlier book in the series), reuse that exact
 wording.
 Example (信心铭 / *Faith in Mind*, 三祖僧璨): the source quotes
 "至道无难，唯嫌拣择，但莫憎爱，洞然明白". The reviewer noted the English
 target mis-quoted the verse and that the correct rendering ("Without love or
 hate, one sees things as they truly are") was already used in an earlier
 translated book in the series. Check `references/translation-pitfalls.md` →
 "Chan verse / scripture quotes" and prior published books before translating.
 ## Summary checklist for meditation-practice texts
 - [ ] Every sentence has an explicit, consistent person subject ("we"/"you"),
      no abstract-third-person drift, no subjectless fragments.
 - [ ] Long sentences split into breath-length units.
 - [ ] No redundant filler ("especially," "basically," "essentially,"
      "particularly," "corresponding").
 - [ ] No word-for-word (字对字) renderings; English reads for meaning.
 - [ ] No exaggerated/literary words; warm, plain vocabulary.
 - [ ] One term per concept, enforced file-wide (true mind, primary, sitting
      meditation, Mindful Breathing).
 - [ ] Fixed series terms (Vairocana posture, Eight Mindful Exercises for Lotus
      Posture, Seven Mindful Exercises for Breathing, supportive).
 - [ ] Terse Dharma statements expanded into teachable sentences.
 - [ ] Chan verse quotes use established published renderings, not fresh drafts.
@@ -275,6 +275,37 @@ initial/middle/great scope."
 佛教术语 has "Guanshiyin/Guanyin Bodhisattva." Use "Guanyin Bodhisattva."
 ## Chan verse / scripture quotes — reuse established renderings
 When the source quotes a well-known Chan verse or sutra passage, do NOT draft
 a fresh translation. Use the established English rendering from the lineage,
 and check whether the project already published this verse in an earlier book
 of the series — reuse that exact wording.
 **Case (信心铭 / *Faith in Mind*, from 初级正念禅修 review):** the source
 quoted "至道无难，唯嫌拣择，但莫憎爱，洞然明白". The draft target mis-quoted
 the verse (anchoring the wrong lines) and the reviewer noted the correct
 rendering ("Without love or hate, one sees things as they truly are.") was
 already used in an earlier translated book in the series. The annotated
 "才有是非，纷然失心" was a mis-annotation of the source; the passage the
 source actually quotes is the four-line verse above.
 **Detection:** For any quoted verse/idiom the source sets off (quotation
 marks, 曰/云/云何 structures), identify the source work (e.g. 信心铭, 金刚经,
 六祖坛经) and search prior published translations in the series before
 translating. A famous Chan line almost always has a standard English form.
 ## AI misinterpretation of Chinese metaphor
 LLMs sometimes mistranslate a concrete Chinese metaphor by guessing the wrong
 image. When the English rendering of a metaphor is physically impossible or
 odd ("we climb on again" for a car returning to a highway), the model
 misread the source, not the register. Re-read the source image literally and
 render the actual picture in plain English ("we get back on").
 **Rule:** If the English metaphor is hard to visualize or sounds comical, it
 is likely a mistranslation of the source image — check the Chinese.
 ## Workflow pitfall
 ### Translating before consulting terms DB
@@ -276,6 +276,10 @@ Read the entire English target aloud. If anything stalls, rephrase it.
 When translating guided meditation scripts, exercise guides, or posture instructions
 (rather than Dharma talks), use a lighter workflow. See `references/meditation-translation.md`.
 Before drafting, also read `../mpi-translation-review/references/meditation-practice-translation.md`
 (patterns a human reviewer flagged across a meditation manuscript) so the recurring
 issues — dropped/inconsistent person, over-long sentences, filler, 字对字
 renderings, fixed series terms — are avoided up front rather than caught at review.
 ## Other Pitfalls
@@ -288,6 +292,7 @@ Create article-specific scripts per `references/proofread-pdf-workflow.md`.
 ## References
 - `references/meditation-translation.md` — lighter workflow for meditation/mindfulness content
 - `../mpi-translation-review/references/meditation-practice-translation.md` (cross-skill) — recurring patterns for meditation-practice texts, distilled from a human-reviewed manuscript
 - `references/markdown-to-djot.md` — converting .docx.md to .dj for translation prep
 - `references/bilingual-format.md` — bilingual.dj layout: source/target adjacent, blank separator between pairs
 - `references/diacritics-convention.md` — diacritics rules
@@ -7,7 +7,8 @@ use a lighter workflow than the full dharma-translation pipeline.
 ## Register
 Default to warm, direct instructional voice (Thầy-adjacent):
- Second-person address ("you")
+- Inclusive first person ("we") for describing the practice and shared
  experience; second person ("you") for direct step-by-step guidance
 - Concrete images, sensory details
 - Oral rhythm, short sentences
 - Present tense, imperative mood
@@ -15,6 +16,18 @@ Default to warm, direct instructional voice (Thầy-adjacent):
 MB corpus consultation is NOT needed for register — this content type has its own
 well-established English conventions (yoga/meditation instructional voice).
 ### Person and subject (most-reviewed issue in this genre)
 Chinese meditation prose drops subjects; English must not. The human reviewer's
 #1 fix was to supply and keep a **consistent person as subject** — almost
 always "we" for shared experience, "you" for direct guidance — and never to
 drift into abstract third person ("people," "one") or leave a sentence
 subjectless. Every sentence needs a named subject, and the reference chain
 across sentences must stay consistent (don't hop between "we," "the
 practitioner," and an inanimate noun). For the full pattern library from a
 human-reviewed manuscript, read
 `../mpi-translation-review/references/meditation-practice-translation.md`.
 ## Terms
 Terms DB lookup for Buddhist-mindfulness vocabulary is useful but limited to key terms: