38 lines
1.8 KiB
Plaintext
38 lines
1.8 KiB
Plaintext
# Edit Suggestions for 77【出家与解脱】
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Translator: opencode-go/deepseek-v4-pro
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Reviewer: self
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Date: 2026-08-06
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## Summary
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Translation is accurate and readable. One minor terminology consistency fix applied. No structural or major content issues found. The three-pass review identified no missing content, mistranslation, or serious fluency problems.
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## Applied Fixes
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1. **Terminology consistency: 红尘** (line 163). "red dust of the world" → "that worldly dust" to match the earlier rendering of 红尘 as "worldly dust" in the same sentence. The metaphor is preserved; the rendering is now consistent.
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## Terminology Notes
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Key term decisions checked against the terms DB:
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- 出家 → "renunciation" / "leaving home" — varies by context, consistent throughout
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- 解脱 → "liberation" — consistent
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- 出离心 → "renunciation" — matches 佛教术语 source
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- 菩提心 → "bodhicitta" — standard convention
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- 空性 → "emptiness"
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- 五蕴 → "five aggregates"
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- 轮回 → "samsara"
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- 正见 → "right view"
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- 戒定慧 → "precepts, concentration, and wisdom"
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- 声闻乘 → "Śrāvakayāna"
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- 菩萨乘 → "Bodhisattva vehicle"
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- 凡夫心 → "ordinary mind" — consistent throughout
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## Considerations
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- The translation uses a formal-but-warm register appropriate for a Dharma talk by Master Jiqun to a monastic audience. Rhetorical questions and first-person asides are preserved.
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- Sanskrit terms (śramaṇa, saṅgha, bodhicitta, dhutaṅga, etc.) are used where appropriate with English glosses on first occurrence.
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- The three sufferings (苦苦、坏苦、行苦) include parenthetical Sanskrit for precision, suitable for this audience.
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- The "shaven-headed layperson" rendering of 光头俗汉 is deliberately colloquial to match the source's pointedness.
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